Okay, Gary.
Ready for your yearly shell waxing?
( meows )
( sizzling )
Just look at that shine.
Now, let's check under the hood.
Jeez, Gary, this place is a real snail-sty.
( meows )
Still? From New Year's Eve?
( blowing )
What?
l've been looking everywhere for this, Gary!
My favorite novelty T-shirt.
( doorbell rings )
Ooh, someone's here.
Special delivery for SpongeBob SquarePants.
Special delivery?
Just for me?
You think I'm... special?
( blubbering )
All right, do we have to go through this
every time I give you your mail?
Sheesh!
What could it be today, Gary?
( meows )
A videotape?
"You're a winner!
SpongeBob SquarePants."
I'm SpongeBob SquarePants!
ANNOUNCER ( on TV ): Karate Island!
A serene and exotic location where nature and beauty abound,
and hundreds of fighting styles collide in a wave of non-stop,
pulsating, no-holds barred action!
For centuries, the world's top karate artists
have journeyed to this land to be crowned King of Karate.
King... of Karate?
ANNOUNCER: Now it's your turn...
ANNOUNCER 2: SpongeBob SquarePants.
ANNOUNCER: You've won and all-expense paid trip to Karate Island!
Hi-yah!
Where you will be crowned this year's King of Karate.
Ooh...
Did you hear that, Gary?
I'm going to crowned...
( karate yells )
King of Karate!
Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
( screaming karate yells )
Howdy, SpongeBob.
Hello, Sandy.
Have you heard the news?
I've been invited to Karate Island
to be crowned the King of Karate.
Karate Island? I've never heard of Karate Island.
Oh, sure, Sandy, all the big karate experts go there.
But... my karate is better than yours by a country mile,
and I've never been invited.
Maybe your karate was the best,
but now they've recognized a new number one.
There's something rotten in the Alamo.
I'd better tag along with you
and see if it's on the up-and-up.
All right, Sandy, you can come with me
to witness my "crowning" moment.
( laughing )
Are we there yet?
Yup, that's it over there.
What makes you think that's Karate Island?
SANDY: I don't know... lucky guess?
Hello there, the King of Karate has arrived.
Welcome to my island, SpongeBob-san.
Oh, thank you.
I am Master Udon.
Howdy, Master Udon, Sandy Cheeks.
I do a little karate, myself.
Sandy, Sandy, Sandy.
Mr. Udon isn't interested in a karate novice like you.
He only has time for royalty.
Oh, brother.
Please, show me some of your moves, Master SpongeBob.
You hear that, Sandy?
He called me "master."
Bring on your best fighters!
I'll try to go easy on them.
Hi-yah!
( growling )
SpongeBob, your karate's not good enough
to handle those sidewinders.
Pa-shaw.
Watch and learn, sister.
( screaming )
( groaning )
( last breath sputters )
Yup, that's how the King of Karate does it.
Who's next?
Something smells like
rancid rodeo around here.
Excellent.
Truly, you are King of Karate.
The one and only.
We must make ready for your coronation.
I'm ready to be King of Karate!
( gonging )
King of Karate-san,
it is time for you to take your rightful place on your throne.
My throne.
All right, Udon, I'm on to you.
This place is as crooked as a dizzy sidewinder.
Come, Sandy, take your place next to the king
and share in my crowning achievement.
( claps twice )
Bring a seat for my air-breathing friend.
SpongeBob, y'all are getting a bit wily.
Oh, do I detect a note of jealously, Sandy?
Heck, I could karate you into a country fiddle
with one paw tied behind my back.
( laughing )
But who's being crowned King of Karate... not you.
I'm getting off this crazy train! ( grumbling )
Master, don't worry about her.
She is missing out on the opportunity of a lifetime.
( laughs )
Let the coronation begin!
Sandy's going to miss out big time.
( gasps )
That dang SpongeBob, who does he think he is?
I taught that yellow egomaniac
everything he knows about fighting...
and that ain't much.
SPONGEBOB: No!
SpongeBob's in trouble!
( SpongeBob screaming )
SpongeBob is the "King of Karate," he doesn't need me.
Eh, he can handle this himself.
SPONGEBOB: Sandy, I need you!
I can't handle this myself!
Hold on, buddy!
SPONGEBOB: No!
Sandy!
She will never reach you.
She must first pass through... ( screaming )
the Four Floors of Fear.
SpongeBob?
Ha. Ha-ha-ha.
You cannot pass unless you defeat me, The Tickler,
and my iron-finger style.
Ha-ha!
Ha-ha. Look!
Huh?
( giggling )
Prepare for the tickling of your life!
Taste these!
Oh, no! Jelly-filled doughnuts!
How did you know they were my weakness?
No one can resist jelly-filled.
Hi-yah! Hi-yah!
Sticky around.
I'll be back with the glazed.
I could use a wet-nap.
All right, who's next?
Halt.
No one advances past me, Lip Service,
and my power-flexy dynamo-lip thruster style.
Hi-yah!
Dance, squirrel, dance.
( laughing )
Advanced hair-dryer style.
( laughing )
What do you expect to do with that?
( blowing air )
Oh, no! Not chapped lips!
Oh!
( shattering )
That's enough lip out of you.
Whaa!
No one has ever made it to the lair of Filthy Phil.
No one passes except me.
Now, feel the sting of my horrible body odor!
( straining )
( pinging )
Ha-ha, Phil!
Your foul stench can't permeate my fresh-air dome.
Fresh-air dome?
( inhaling )
Man, I really do stink.
Hi-yah!
You are one impressive squirrel.
You even made a costume change.
Release SpongeBob!
Never.
( straining )
He is forbidden to leave until...
he signs this contract.
What are you talking about?
Real estate.
You mean this whole thing was a scam
to get us to buy real estate?
Yes! If there was a real Karate Island,
I'd be a millionaire.
You mean I'm not King of Karate?
No. But you could be King of Condos.
Here, let me explain, it's really quite simple.
You see, if you invest in a timeshare here on Condo Island,
you can see your equity increase tenfold.
Perhaps you and your yellow friend
would like to set up a timeshare plan?
Don't do it, Sandy!
( chanting )
Hi-yah!
I won't give in to your
timeshare vacation scam!
Then give in to my fists.
( straining )
Hi-yah!
( roaring )
( moaning and groaning )
( screams )
( "bionic" music plays )
( screaming )
( splashing )
You're in the soup now, Udon!
Sandy, I'm sorry I acted like a jerk back there.
Thanks for saving me from...
( swallows hard )
buying a condo.
Oh, shucks, SpongeBob,
that's what friends are for.
l still have one question though.
Does this mean I'm not King of Karate anymore?
You are in my book, SpongeBob,
you are in my book.
Now, let me tell you about real estate.
It's all about location...
I'm here!
The King of Clarinets has arrived!